What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 25.06.2025 05:03
I have no regrets .
Especially a lifetime of it.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Scientists discover that the oldest continental crust on Earth is disintegrating - Earth.com
She married twice! .
I write beautiful poetry .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
What is the cost of implementing synchronized traffic lights in a mid-sized city?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But ive been too sick for many years..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Jimmy Buffett's Wife Files to Remove Co-Trustee on $275 Million Estate - Variety
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She was in good health!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
6 recalls you can’t miss this week - NJ.com
Would this be the day?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Stunning Space Film Premieres June 9 at Natural History’s Planetarium - West Side Rag
I was 9 years of age.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why are people of mixed race seen as more attractive than non-mixed-race people?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Was to survive, this bastard.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He knew the spot.
iOS 26 Adds Support for Transferring an eSIM to and From Android - MacRumors
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
What are the best AI recruiting tools and AI hiring software available today?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Largest Horned Dinosaur Ever Found Looks Like It Walked Off a Marvel Set - Indian Defence Review
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Comes on , in middle age.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Why are people saying that Taylor Swift is the smartest person on Earth?
I couldn’t, believe it.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
So, i spoilt her more .
But it wasn’t much.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I waited trembling.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
When she asked me how she looked .
I never cut or harmed myself..
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She found it foreign!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
What did i know ?
Ive learnt so much.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Im still living with it.
She wouldn,t have been !
I will be 64.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
(And it was in our own minds.)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I think the readers, may guess!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He resisted the act ,that day.
We were not on the streets..
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I was scared of men, in general
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I don,t even have a pension.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I said to her
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Who then, do I blame.?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
My life is so biszare .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
My family never makes their pension either.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I could never make a relationship work though!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
One cannot live in the past .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
So whats the point in blame.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Put me off passion for life!!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was seconnd youngest,
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She loved him until the end.
All the time i was locked up.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
It was going to be , some day.
This is soul school!.
We all went to grammer schools
And i lived it daily.
But, we were locked up after school.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was very sick at this time too.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
This is how, and why children get BPD.